Personal

War Of My Life

img_20160824_185846

“I’m in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of time and there’s no where to run.”

So, I’ve been going trough my box of all the CD’s I’ve collected over time, and I came across John Mayers’ album, ‘Battle Studies.’ I put the CD in my music player about a week ago and it’s still stuck there, especially the song ‘War Of My Life’ has been on repeat ever since. I’m not quite sure why this song appeals to me so much, but right now I feel like I’m kind of ‘in the war of my life, at the door of my life.’

I’m about to graduate this year, so in a little less then a year I’ll be done with school. For the ones who don’t know, I’m currently in my 4th year of my education to become an Audio Visual Specialist. Like I said, I’m about to graduate and let me tell you, it scares the hell out of me. Honestly, the period of time that comes after graduating looks like a big, black hole to me. On the other hand, it’s also something I’m looking forward to, but only when I have a plan. So, currently I’m desperately trying to get ‘my plan’ together. I’ve got a few options in mind that I’d like to get out in the open. Feel free to give advice or tell me I’m stupid. Both are fine with me.

  1. Buy a second handed campervan and rebuild the whole thing. Create a house on wheels and live a self-sufficient life on the open road. Travel, create, share, going back to the base.
  2. Get a work&holiday visum for Australia and be gone for a year. All alone, really jumping into the deep, unknown… all by myself.
  3. Try to get a scholarship and study abroad. My preference goes out to America, I’d like to get a master in Scenario. Why study abroad? I guess because I feel like that when I’m studying abroad I get so much more than just another degree. I also get to meet new people, experience a new culture, a new language and in general… I get a new life.

img_20160823_215901

As much as I want to run away from the whole situation, I am also ready to embrace it and I’m curious about where I’ll be going. Random fun fact: I’m not much of a selfie queen, to be honest, I never take selfies, but I find myself snapping pictures ‘selfies’ with pretty much everyone I know lately, because I feel like I need to make an album of ‘my last year,’ (of my current education!) Does anyone else feels me in this? I think it’s hilarious haha!

The other thing I’ve been questioning myself lately is: Why are we so afraid of love and being vulnerable? It’s something that keeps popping up in the back of my mind. When I was in Romania to help renovation the house for children without a home, and to shoot two documentaires, I learned that vulnerability is such an amazing thing when you have the right people around you. It’s scary but really worth the try when it comes to bonding in a really close way. I’ve seen it with the children, the team, all around me. It also appealed to me that when people have less luxury they tend to get closer with each other. People are being seen more equivalent for some reason. I hope that makes sense… I just wanted to bring it up, think about it, love and vulnerability are actually really interesting things that make your life much deeper.

img_3806x

I guess that in the end everything will come around full circle and I’ll find my peace, wherever it may be. For now, I’ve got my graduation on my mind and loads of other projects. I’m going to end this personal blogpost with another part of the lyrics from ‘War Of My Life.’ It’s hopefully something that gives you power as well. Thanks for taking the time to read my words, be kind to one another and I’ll speak to you soon! Lot’s of love. Sofie.

P.S. Here’s the song. CLICK

“Come out angels
Come out ghosts
Come out darkness
Bring everyone you know.

I’m not running
And I’m not scared
I am waiting and well prepared.”

You Might Also Like

14 Comments

  • Reply
    Ressa
    October 13, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    First of all, I LOVE that song! Second of all, we have been there. ❤ I remembered feeling so afraid of the future, because I didn’t want to rely my happiness on financial stability and career when there were so many parts of me that wanted to explore and find out more about myself.

    All your goals sound fabulous! I think that when the moment arises, the answer will make itself known to you. ❤ You got this, girl! Keep it up!

    -Ressa

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 13, 2016 at 8:30 pm

      Thanks so much for taking the time to write such an inspiring and sweet comment Ressa! I am absolutely happy that we got to ‘meet’ because of our blogs and social media. I really hope the answer will make itself known like you said, if it does I’ll let you know! Lot’s of love! <3

  • Reply
    Lieke
    October 13, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    Whatever you do…i will always support you! You will find your way in life x

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 13, 2016 at 9:12 pm

      <3

  • Reply
    Chelshea
    October 14, 2016 at 5:04 am

    I adore on how you express your passion and your willing to explore the world, meeting new people, scholarship abroad, those all really exciting! Great post dear, I hope you can reach your dream as soon as possible! :)

    xoxo,
    |CHELSHEAFLO|

    chelsheaflo.blogspot.co.id

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 15, 2016 at 5:16 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment! It’s an absolute passion of mine to explore the world and really dive into the unknown. I hope everything will work out! Have a great weekend! x

  • Reply
    Jalisa
    October 14, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    You look absolutely gorgeous, girlie! I love your hair and the color palette here is so beautiful. My advice is to network as much as you can. Perhaps you can stop by your guidance office and ask if there’s any internship opportunities or something of that nature. When I was pursing a career in medicine, my last year was pretty intense. I took 6 classes and worked at 2 hospitals and was also apart of a research group that worked with ivy leagues and hospitals. Once I got in, I started rubbing elbows with doctors and got a job at one of the best hospitals in the U.S. I say all of that to show how just getting into the club connected me with those in the field that got me into a job position. Not to say this always happens, but if you intern and they love you (which I know they will) they’re more inclined to hire someone they already know and don’t have to train an employee, they don’t mind training interns. I hope this helped and that you have the most amazing weekend ahead, gorgeous girlie!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 15, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      Thanks for your super sweet and supportive comment! It means a lot! <3 Also, thanks for sharing your personal story and advice, I will absolutely keep this in mind.
      Yes, it's really important to get into the club to reach your goals, make sure you've got the right connections and make sure you always try your best. I really am glad that it worked for you! Have a wonderful week ahead dear! <3

  • Reply
    Ilona
    October 19, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    Thanks for posting the song lyrisc and a link to the song, I’ve been listening to the song the entire afternoon now.
    Love your skirt that you’re wearing on the pictures!

    Ilona
    http://www.artthisisart.com

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 26, 2016 at 10:02 am

      Thanks so much! It really is a great song! :)

  • Reply
    jeapiebel
    October 21, 2016 at 8:56 am

    Het is ook echt een grote stap als je straks gaat afstuderen. In werkelijkheid is het ook even eng, daarna komt wel goed je gaat het zeker redden. :-) Wel leuke optie heb je bedacht in je hoofd en zoals je zegt: je vindt de weg wel.

  • Reply
    Denise
    October 21, 2016 at 3:34 pm

    You look amazing, I love your hair and I love pleats! Well, why is it difficult to love? Some people are afraid of getting too close, to have tight bonds because then it can fade, it means, people can leave and then… it leads to a big hole, an absolute emptiness… it scares everyone! As for your graduation, congratulations! It is scary as well, to have a different life after studies… but your plans are excellent! I have number 1 as a plan too, and numbers 2 and 3 are fantastic! Yes, learning new traditions, a new language, meeting different people… really enriching! Hope you have a very nice weekend!
    DenisesPlanet.com

    • Reply
      DownTownSofie
      October 26, 2016 at 10:04 am

      Thanks so much for your sweet comment! Cool to read you have ‘number 1’ as a plan as well. Seems like the self-sufficient life appeals to a lot of people these days. To get away from the stress I guess!

  • Reply
    Denise
    October 21, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    I am now following you on Bloglovin, by the way!
    DenisesPlanet.com

  • Leave a Reply


    *